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.. maybe things were going to be alright. But there it was again ... the honesty question. The one question I hadn't decided how to handle.I'd made another of his favorite meals and he acknowledged it. We had some conversation during our dinner and it helped me get a grip on my nerves. I wasn't looking forward to what was to come. In fact, I dreaded it. My conversation with Ginny had helped, but I still couldn't imagine how this was all going to turn out.I didn't have a second drink. I don't think I could have held it down. I needed all my wits about me. Alcohol was only false courage. Ginny taught me that. She was an alcoholic. A recovering alcoholic. It had cost her her marriage and her relationship with her children. It had been a very high price to pay. I met her not long after she joined AA. I admired her courage. She blamed no one but herself and knew it was a sickness. She dealt with it.I had no such excuse for my behavior. I was selfish. It all boiled down to that. It was. One night out I let a man chat me up and finger me me I felt his cock it was huge at the time time and I got scared and left it at that. Then two or three night later I watched a show a bout girls in the city and heard the words hot wife and cuckold looked them up both names sounded sexy thought about wot I had done and every day for a week fucked my self hard for about an hour and half some times twice a day imagining all types of things I had read on the net . So at the end of the week I met a friend for a drink I was dressed like a mum she turned up dressed so hot and sex I felt silly I asked her why she was all dressed up and she said look I am a mum of two so to keep my man interested I dress up sexy and watch the men eye hump me then I ring him and he comes and gets me and we go some place and fuck our brains out. Well after she left I thought I could do then as I was about to leave the guy from last week end came over and offered to get me a drink accepted and it was strong.
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